Article Talk Edit Source View History

Builder Syndrome

A documented psychological phenomenon. From BurbridgeBuilds, the free encyclopedia that anyone could edit but won't because it's perfect.

MEDICAL DISCLAIMER
This article describes a phenomenon that is not, at this time, recognized by any mainstream medical body. It is recognized, however, by the IBBQ, the Council of Builds, and by anyone who has ever had dinner with someone who has it.
CONTENTS
  1. Definition
  2. Symptoms
  3. Stages
  4. Diagnosis
  5. Prevalence
  6. Treatment
  7. See Also
  8. References

Definition

Builder Syndrome is a chronic, non-communicable (probably) condition characterized by an inability to encounter a problem without also seeing its solution, and a compulsion to act on that solution regardless of whether one has been asked to.[1]

The condition was first documented by Kowalski (2019) in a seminal paper titled "Appliance Deconstruction as Early Indicator of Builder Syndrome," which traced the origins of the syndrome to early-life behaviors such as disassembling household appliances "to see if they deserved to exist."[2]

Symptoms

Individuals with Builder Syndrome commonly exhibit the following symptoms:

  • Compulsive problem identification — The inability to use any product, service, or system without noticing what's wrong with it
  • Unsolicited redesign — Mental (or physical) sketching of improved versions of things that were working fine
  • Suboptimality intolerance — Physical discomfort in the presence of poorly organized systems
  • Commit-message hypercriticism — An outsized emotional response to commit messages that read "stuff," "wip," or "."
  • The Refactor Impulse — A compulsion to rewrite functional code that happens to be arranged poorly
  • Chronic overproduction — Building things no one asked for because they should exist
  • "I could do this better" episodes — Occurring in response to approximately 80% of consumer software encountered

Stages

Builder Syndrome progresses through recognizable stages, though not all individuals advance through all stages at the same rate.

STAGE NAME DESCRIPTION
I The Observer Notices that things are poorly built. Does not yet act.
II The Suggester Begins making suggestions to those responsible. Usually ignored.
III The Side-Projector Begins building alternatives in spare time. Does not sleep well.
IV The Rebuilder Rebuilds things from scratch. Typically without being asked. Often at 2 AM.
V The Completionist Cannot rest until the rebuild is superior in every measurable way. Superior in some unmeasurable ways as well.
VI The Builder Terminal stage. Individuals at this stage have accepted that they will spend their lives building things, and have stopped apologizing for it. See: Burbridge.

Diagnosis

There is no formal diagnostic test for Builder Syndrome. However, the IBBQ has published an informal screening checklist. A score of 5 or more "yes" responses indicates probable Builder Syndrome:

  1. Have you ever mentally redesigned a restaurant menu?
  2. Do you have at least three unfinished side projects?
  3. Have you ever found a bug in software you were not paid to use?
  4. Have you ever written a tool to solve a problem that would take 5 minutes manually?
  5. Do you experience physical discomfort when using badly-designed forms?
  6. Have you refactored a piece of code solely for aesthetic reasons?
  7. Have you ever stayed up past 2 AM to finish a feature no one asked for?
  8. Do you consider "works" and "works well" to be different standards?
  9. Have you thought "I could do this better" at least once today?
  10. Have you read this wiki?

Prevalence

Builder Syndrome is estimated to affect ~2% of the general population and ~47% of software engineers.[3] Within the population of Aggressive Craftsmanship practitioners, prevalence is estimated at 100%. The Council of Builds is believed to require Builder Syndrome as a de facto prerequisite for membership.

Treatment

There is no known cure for Builder Syndrome, and the IBBQ has gone on record opposing the development of one. As IBBQ Director ████████████ stated in a 2023 interview: "If we cured Builder Syndrome, who would build the cure?"[4]

Individuals with Builder Syndrome are advised to:

  • Accept the condition
  • Channel the compulsion productively
  • Keep a list of unbuilt ideas somewhere (they will not go away, but the list helps them feel heard)
  • Surround themselves with other builders, or at least people who understand
  • Occasionally ship something and let it be good enough, for exercise
  • Never, under any circumstances, read the source code of a product they love
"You cannot cure it. You can only redirect it. Preferably toward something useful." — Dr. P. Kowalski, in conversation

References

  1. IBBQ. (2022). "Clinical Observations in Persons Who Build." Proceedings of the Society for the Study of People Who Are Like That, 3(2), pp. 67–89.
  2. Kowalski, P. (2019). "Appliance Deconstruction as Early Indicator of Builder Syndrome." Proceedings of the Society for the Study of People Who Are Like That, 1(1), pp. 1–23.
  3. International Engineering Survey, 2024. Self-reported data. Response rate: 94% (suspicious).
  4. IBBQ Director, interview with Hacker Noon Tomorrow, July 2023. Identity withheld at subject's request.
CATEGORIES: Builders Living People (Probably)